Three words: puerto rican gang bang
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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