im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
