he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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