fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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