I seem to have left my pride at pride
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
