why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
