Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
