i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
