hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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