fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
