he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
