you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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