Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
