I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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