One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
