Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
