Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize