Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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