Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
