Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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