There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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