I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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