I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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