I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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