thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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