the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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