I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We need to rekindle our bromance
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize