what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
