She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
