The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
