Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she told me i tasted like america
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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