hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
