We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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