Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
