I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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