I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
