Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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