Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?