She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi