I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
