the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?