if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
