Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
