yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
