What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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