Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
