yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
