I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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