I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
