ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
