Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
