i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
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Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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