Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
