What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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