so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
