Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Randomize
