walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She even gives head with a lisp.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
