i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
