the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
