Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
