I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
