I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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